The Day Starbucks Made Me Look Like a Liar

So this morning was one of those rare mornings when Mike was home in the morning. He usually leaves for work long before I’m even out of bed. Since we’ve moved into the new house, my Starbucks budget went from $20 a week to $2 a week. I don’t even know that I love the coffee that much because once I get to work I could have coffee and I don’t want it. I think I just like going to Starbucks…the social aspect of it.

Anyhow…back to the story. So given that my Starbucks budget has been $2 a week, I’ve only been to my new Starbucks like five times. Since Mike was home this morning and we were running on schedule I suggested we all go to Starbucks this morning. I’m telling him how I’m excited because I never get to go to Starbucks anymore, blah, blah, blah. I get to the counter and the guy says, “Grande Iced Coffee Unsweetened, right?”

Dude! It’s so awesome that he remembered but now I look like a total liar. Because who remembers the coffee order of a girl that doesn’t come in at least three times a week? Mike kind of looks at me and grins and I’m all, “I swear…I don’t know how he remembered that.” I even tried to say to the barista, “Wow, I’m surprised you remember.” And instead of him being like, “Oh we try to remember everyone, even you people who only come in once a week,” he just says, “Of course.”

P.S. If you haven’t had Swedish Fish in awhile, don’t eat them. Seriously. They are like crack for adults. I thought, “Oh, Swedish Fish, I’ll have one.” And I haven’t stopped all damn day.

Why Starbucks Matters

We are moving tomorrow. You think I would be concerned about Ava adjusting to a new house…I’m not. What is bothering me this morning is I’m worried about our new Starbucks. You see, our first Starbucks in El Segundo there was DJ and Diane, or Di-Wan, as Ava called her. They were baristas who were very much a part of Ava’s first two years. They watched her go from being a tiny, squishy baby to being a toddler. There were the customers at that Starbucks who watched as well. There were three older ladies who were there every morning that just adored Ava and Ava adored them. We called them “The Ladies”. Holidays would roll around and The Ladies would bring in little presents for Ava and show her pictures of their grandchildren. It was a sad day in Starbucks when we moved. We missed them and they missed us.

We found a new Starbucks and it took awhile but we found a new Starbucks family. There was a wonderful barista named Cathy. She took to Ava quickly because she had a granddaughter the same age. Again, Ava made friends with regular customers and the holidays rolled around and there were gifts galore. I’m telling you…this little girl can just capture people’s hearts. So on Wednesday we went in to say bye to Cathy. On the way to Starbucks Ava started crying because she doesn’t want to say goodbye and she’s going to miss Cathy so much. Her words, not mine. And I know it seems silly. You’re probably thinking, “Just take her back to visit.” And I will, but it’s still sad. This woman has been a person she sees daily for almost 2 years…she’s really gonna miss her you guys. No joke.

Not to mention there are lots of memories there….she provided alot of material for this blog on our daily visits. There were the numerous incidents with Weeman. There was the time I had to call and reserve her blueberry muffin in order to avoid a meltdown. There was the big announcement she made there and embarrassed the hell out of me. Then the time she accused a man of going after her hiney…embarrassment again. Oh and the guy she totally tried to pick up there. Lots of funny things happened at Starbucks and it really feels like we’re starting a new school.

I’ve scoped out our new Starbucks but I’m worried. Will they love Ava as much as our other baristas do, or will she simply be another kid who comes into Starbucks with her mom? Because at our previous Starbucks, she’s achieved celebrity status…everyone knows Ava and everyone who knows her, loves her. Here’s to hoping for a smooth transition…

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

I can’t seem to find anything to inspire me to write lately. I’m in limbo land and my super-awesome friend Jenny seems to keep this little notebook that she writes down ideas of things to blog about, which would be great if my brain was generating ideas. I’m really beginning to believe I’m out of topics because Ava and I don’t take our daily trip to Starbucks anymore. Starbucks is like her stage.

We did go in this morning…I was totally hoping for some material. First things first, we see Weeman again. And this time I’m hoping we don’t have a repeat of the last time we ran into him. He’s in line in front of us and she keeps peeking around at him and he’s cool…smiling at her and he gives her a wave. And she’s like, “Mom…he looks funny.” Well, at least she didn’t call him fat again…I think? I just responded, “He hasn’t had his coffee yet. We all look funny before our coffee sweetheart.” I think it was an okay recovery on my part. But I NEED to know what to do in these situations!!!

So then we run into her friend, Cathy, who works there and Cathy asks Ava how she’s been. Ava says, “Oh I’ve been good. Santa’s coming in 6 months. My birthday is December 8th and I’m 3.” I’m not sure how all this fits together but it cracks me up the data she feels is relevant to share. She also met a new friend in line, her name was Paige and she informed me in the car that her and Paige are now best friends.

It got me thinking how easy it is to make friends when we’re little kids. We’re not guarded or tainted. All a kid thinks is, “By cracky…that person is about the same height as me…I think we’re now best friends.” Wouldn’t it be awesome if it were that easy in our adult life? Now we all come with warning labels and pieces of us are sometimes so broken that it hampers our ability to just say, “By cracky…that person is about the same height as me…I think we’re now best friends.”

I Called Starbucks

Okay….so Ava is going through this really weird phase where she gets upset about random things. First it started when Mike and I were in seperate cars. She would start crying because whoever’s car she was in, had to “win” to get home. But she would be panicky the whole time in the car, “Daddy’s gonna win!!! He’s going to win.” And I’d tell her, “Daddy’s behind us…he’s not going to win. And besides I’m basically Mario Andretti in a mom-mobile.”

The next phase was she wanted to be the first kid to school, which she NEVER is because she takes forever getting out the door. Okay…lie…we both take forever getting out the door. And I’ll tell her, “Ava, if you don’t hurry up, we’re going to be late.” So she takes her time and then on the way to the car she starts crying, “Who’s going to beat me to school? I’m not going to be the first one there.” And when I say crying…it’s real tears and everything and she’s really upset.

So this morning I tell her if she hurries up and gets ready, we can make a special trip to Starbucks. She gets really excited and tells me she’s going to have a blueberry muffin! I’m a little shocked because she’s really into “batick vanilla scones” right now. And for those of you not privy to 3-year-old linguistics, batick = petit. So she’s really happy and then all of the sudden she starts crying and says, “There’s not going to be any blueberry muffins left!!!!!!!” I don’t know what the deal is with all this worrying. So I tell her they aren’t going to run out but she won’t listen.

So I did what any mom would do…I told her I would call Kathy (our neighborhood Starbucks barista) and tell her to set one off to the side for us. I made the fake phone call right in front of Ava and she calmed down a little. So we show up to Starbucks and I show Ava that there are indeed blueberry muffins left!!! Except that she notices Kathy wasn’t actually working today. I might have lied to her and told her Kathy was in the back making coffee. But that’s a good lie, right??? Right?????

Blog Name Change

Mike calls me this morning and says, “Babe, you should change the name of the blog to Life With Ava at Starbucks” Why would he say this, you ask? Well, Ava provides alot of material for this blog during our trips to Starbucks.

I’m not sure if everyone knows who Weeman is, so I’ll just say that he was on Jackass and here’s his picture:

He’s a really nice guy and frequents the same Starbucks I do. One day I heard him in there talking about how he was opening this taco shop: Wee-man’s Chronic Tacos. We decided to try it out on Sunday, took Ava and got her a quesadilla. Anyway, this morning Ava and I are in Starbucks and we’re walking out and he’s coming across the parking lot. I KNOW my child and I’m thinking, please don’t say anything about his size…please wait until we’re in the car. Of course she’s staring him down and she’s got this curious look on her face. He walks past us and she turns around and is watching him walk into Starbucks. This is what happens next:

Ava: Mom, did you see that little boy?
Me: Ava, he’s not a little boy. He’s a little person, but he is a man, not a boy. Remember where we had a quesadilla on Sunday…that was his restaurant.
Ava: Mom, he is a little person but he has a big, fat butt!

You guys, I almost died. I don’t think he heard her…I really don’t but I felt horrible. And I tried to explain to her that we don’t use the word fat, just like we don’t use the word ugly. I was really embarrassed and I wish I could censor her on things but I’ve realized that every time something like this happens, it’s my opportunity to teach her better.

These are your what?

So last night I’m giving Ava a bath and she’s playing. She’s really into naming obscure body parts…wrists, kneecaps, ankles…that sort of thing. So I hear her say, “Mom, these are my nipples?” In my head I’m going, “Huh-what?” So I look over and she asks me again, “Mom, these are my nipples?” So I ask her, “What are your nipples? Point at them.”

In my head I’m just hoping that she learns what they are and moves forward and it doesn’t become a much-talked about subject like farting has. She’s at that age where farting isn’t embarrassing, it’s an accomplishment and one we should announce loudly. We were at Starbucks one morning and she’s sitting at the table and I’m waiting in line. She yells, “Mom, Mom!” I say, “Yes Ava?” And for everyone in Starbucks to witness she yells, “I farted!” Man…that was awesome. I didn’t know what to do. So I just did what every smart parent would do and said, “What do we tell Daddy to say when he farts?” She responds, “Excuse me mommy.”

So back to the nipples story. I ask her to point them out and she points at her knuckles. I felt pretty happy about this because now I don’t have to explain nipples or their function or why we have them. Most importantly I don’t have to worry about being embarrassed at Starbucks when she yells, “Hey mom, look at my knuckles!”

Another Moment Brought To You Courtesy of Starbucks

Ava and I took our daily trip to Starbucks this morning. She does some pretty funny and also embarrassing things at Starbucks. So every night Ava gets a piggy-back ride down the stairs from daddy and I’ll go down behind them and say, “I’m gonna get your hiney, hiney, hiney!” She thinks it’s really funny and will yell for Mike to go faster so I can’t get her.

So today we’re exiting Starbucks and this guy holds the door open for us and then follows up out. She starts running and yelling, “He’s gonna get my hiney! He’s gonna get my hiney!” All the while holding her little butt cheeks as she runs as if he’s a real threat. I was so embarrassed you guys. This poor guy just comes to get coffee and is kind enough to hold the door for us on the way out and has to deal with a three-year-old accusing him of trying to get her hiney.

Someone once said…

Someone once said, “Write down everything…because you’ll forget all the funny stuff she does and you’re going to want to remember it.”

So some random things I’ve found funny recently…

Ava’s favorite show right now is Dora The Explorer…I am so Dora’d out at this point but the kid loves it so what am I going to do. I’m subjected to hours upon hours of this little girl who is constantly on expeditions. Does anyone else wonder where her parents are when she’s on these expeditions? Okay…started rambling. So I really love listening to Ava use her spanish words and have learned a few myself. The other day we’re driving in the car and she dropped something and she starts screaming “Ayuda me mama! Ayuda me!!!” I’m in the front seat, “What are you saying Ava?” Apparently it ayuda me translates to help me. Good stuff!

Also, she knows all of her colors in Spanish. I’m very proud of this. Although there’s one color she doesn’t pronounce quite right…but that’s okay because her mispronounciation is better than the real deal. Want to know how she says red? In Spanish it’s supposed to be pronounced “rojo” but Ava’s version…it’s wronghole. Yep…you read it right. WRONGHOLE!

Ava finally figured out Mike and I were married. I agree with what you’re thinking…it took her long enough. This led to a major meltdown of epic proportions. She’s sobbing. I ask her, “Ava, what’s wrong?” Her reply, “I want to be married.” A few seconds and one wedding later Mr. and Mrs. Mickey Mouse were in a much better mood. The wedding was videotaped of course. Wouldn’t want her first wedding to go undocumented.

A few weeks back we’re getting in the car and she tries to get in the drivers seat. I tell her I have to drive and she has to go in the back. A meltdown ensues…I’m thinking it’s because she just doesn’t want to be in the back seat….WRONG! She’s upset because and I quote, “I want to be 16 like you so I can drive.” That’s right folks…I had her at 13.

She wakes up the other morning and she tells me she had a dream about her family. I was curious who she considered family. So I asked who was in her dream. Well…there was Daddy, me, Mickey, all of her stuffed animals and her pacifier. It’s nice to know that her parents fall into the same category as her pacifier. That pacifier only costs $3 but it’s just as important to her as her parents apparently.

One morning we’re at Starbucks and this guy walks in. He’s good-looking, mid-thirties I would say. He gets in line behind us. Ava starts getting all giggly and hiding behind my legs waving at him. Totally flirting. I’m used to her doing this sort of thing so I didn’t really pay much attention. He said hi to her. I get my coffee and she has a seat at the table. I walk up to the milk/sugar bar, yes…that’s what it’s call in my world, and I start making my coffee delicious and the guy is waiting for his drink. All of the sudden I hear my daughter say, “HEY! Do you want to see how strong I am?” I get this confused look on my face, turn around and she’s holding my wallet high above her head, with both hands! She’s looking at the guy and she’s got this look on her face like, “You’re impressed, huh? Yep…I knew you would be.” I swear if she could wink she would have winked at him. He played along and boy was she was a happy little girl that morning.