The Excuse I’m Using for Not Cooking

So I cooked our first meal in our new home on Sunday. It might have been our last. You see, I used the oven to make garlic bread. Simple enough. Except that now the oven has stopped working…no power to it whatsoever. It’s so dead that the clock isn’t even working. And don’t ask me if I checked to make sure the power was on…I did jerks. Don’t try to offer me a hug either. I’m good. I purchased a home warranty plan when we bought the house. I worry about everything and this time my worrying paid off. Maybe.

I called the warranty company last night…they took down my info and we have an appointment scheduled for a company to come out and look at it on Saturday. It’s an old oven and I would be lying if I said I really hope they can fix it. I don’t. I hope that oven is so broke we need a new one. I’ve even thought about suggesting to Mike to go in there and break it really good but to not make it look like we broke it really good so that we could get a new oven. But I won’t…because I’d feel guilty. That whole thing I say about doing the right thing, even when nobody is looking…I really do live by it. Plus I believe in karma. I also believe that anything you do comes back three-fold…good or bad. So I’m just going to hope that I did something good enough to get a new oven. Otherwise I won’t be able to cook and my family will starve. That last part’s a lie…if you know anything about me, you know I can use a microwave like nobody’s business.

Dear Oven God, please send me a new oven. Love, Janice

It’s Not You. It’s Me.

Dear Blog,

I love you. I really do. These next few weeks may be a little tough and you may feel a little neglected, so I just want to explain myself. You see, we bought this house…

It’s our first home and it has a yard. Yes…a yard. I know…no more concrete living for us…

And it has all of these wonderful rooms. These wonderful rooms need to be cleaned and painted…

Baseboards need to be removed and replaced. Counters need to be scrubbed…

Ava’s Room needs to be fit for a true princess…

We need a room prepared especially for guests. A room that will also house the place where I write to you and tell you all my thoughts and remind you you are loved…

Carpets must be replaced to create a playroom to send Ava off to while I’m trying to write those thoughts…

And then when that’s all done, I must create and decorate the space where I will lay my head at night…

So you see, I’m busy making my dreams come true. Making my family’s dreams come true. So if I take a few days off from you and neglect you, just think of the stories I’ll have to tell and the pictures I’ll have to show. Think about the parties I’ll host and memories I’ll make. You understand, don’t you?

The Expected Meltdown

I have been a bitch the past two weeks. There’s no way to sugar coat that. My fuse has been short and my temper easily flared. I have not been easy to deal with. I know this. I have been dealing with so much. Anyone who has bought a house can understand the amount of work that goes into getting this transaction to the end stages. My day consists of reading emails, printing attachments, signing attachments, scanning, emailing back. Then there’s the whole setting up utilities, carpet install appointments, mold remediation estimates. Meeting people, talking to people, fighting with people. I feel like Gumby right now. I’m pulled in a million different directions all day. I’m an excellent multi-tasker but this takes multi-tasking to a whole new level.

I work a full-time job, have a 3 1/2 yo at home who never stops talking and a husband who calls me a lot. So this buying a house business has just tipped my balancing act right over. I had a meltdown of epic proportions this morning. I’m stressed. I am. Did I mention Mike is out-of-town for work and we are closing on our house this week? Oh dear God. So I’m a single parent right now. My emotions are frayed and my brain hurts.

SOOOOOOO….this morning. I actually get Ava and I out the door on time. That should have been my first clue that the morning was going to unravel. We are leaving for Napa on Friday morning and I decide that since I have a few minutes, I’ll clean all the boxes out of my trunk to make room for luggage. It’s not 7:20 am so I’m still doing okay on time. I get in the car, Mike calls…I answer. I’m still happy. Then I turn the car on and a light comes on. It’s a triangle with an exclamation point in the middle. WTF is this??? It can’t be good. I open the owner’s manual for the car and learn that it’s a tire pressure warning light. What???? My car has that???? So cool! Wait…shit…that means something is wrong with my tires.

So I get out of the car. Mike is still on the phone. And sure enough my front tire is low on air. Argghhhh! Here is what happens next:

Mike: Just go to the gas station and put some air in it.

Janice: How much air do I put in it?

Mike: It should say on the tire.

Janice: I can’t find it. (Frustration now mounting)

Mike: Just take my truck.

Janice: But what about my tire! What if when I get home tonight it’s flat!!!! Is the car seat in your truck? I’ll just go put air in my tire. I’m gonna be late for work now.

Mike: Just take my truck. What if you take your car to work and it goes flat in the parking garage.

Janice: I really can’t handle anymore. I’m so stressed out.

Mike: I don’t know what you want me to do.

Janice: I want you to be here. I’m handling all this by myself and it sucks.

There were some more words exchanged…it ended with us both being pissed off and saying “I’ll talk to you later.” Then the tears came. Big, fat, I can’t handle all of this I want my mommy tears! And I couldn’t stop them. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t stop crying. And I was crying for no big reason, just a bunch of little ones. I was crying because I’m now late for work. Once I get to work I have to tell my boss that I know I showed up late, and I know I’m leaving early but now I also need a 1/2 hour to run to the bank and wire money so that I can close escrow on a house. And I hate that.

I think at some point I looked towards the heavens and said, “Really? A flat tire? Today? Not cool, God, not cool.” Mike called back and said he just felt bad. And I did too…he’s been awesome through all of my moodiness and short temperament. He said it best when I said, “I’m a guy and guys want to fix things. His “fix” was for me to take his truck since he couldn’t be here to change my tire. And it makes sense…guys are like that. They don’t understand emotional, crying women sometimes. They just want to stop the tears and most of the time, there’s not a whole lot that can be done to stop them…sometimes the tears just need to fall out. Damn woman hormones.

What was the last thing you cried about?

Short Sales Are Not Short

So Mike and I are still in this whole home-buying process and haven’t wanted to say anything yet to the world about the fact that we put an offer in on a short sale what feels like ages ago. It really hasn’t been ages…maybe 3 months but man…when you want a house, really want it and it has all the things I previously wrote about, 3 months is a freaking long time to hear if the bank has approved it or not.

So we hear the term short sale alot these days thanks to the banks who gave money to people who couldn’t afford the houses they bought for various different reasons. Awesome. So basically what it means is that a buyer (ME) is offering less (shorting) than what the current sellers owe on the existing mortgage. Why would a bank do this, you ask? Well, they can either accept my offer and be done with it or the current seller forecloses and the process takes even longer.

Well, we found this house that we both loved (amazing, right?) and put in an offer. The banks did their thing and I waited ever so patiently (stop laughing) to get an answer. And I had just about given up. I mean tears were shed and I was so tired of waiting that I wanted to give up. And then it was like God heard my nervous breakdown and said, “Girl, shut up. Prayer answered.” I got a phone call the next morning at 8 am saying, “The bank has approved the short sale.” We opened escrow the next day.

So this is why I’ve been MIA on the blog y’all. I’ve been busy giving away our life savings and trying to understand everything I need to know about buying a house. Dude…it’s alot. I kept telling Heather, “It doesn’t feel real. I’m not freaking out yet.” Well, yet has come people!!!!! Our inspections went well and now it’s really happening and I’m like “OMG…this is scary. OMG I have so much to do!!!” And I’m a pay someone to do things kind of gal. I don’t like to paint, or move, or clean empty houses, which doesn’t bode well for me considering we’re giving up every penny we have to make this happen. Lucky for me, I found a bag of change in the closet today. I doubt it will cover moving, painting or cleaning but at least it will buy me pizza and beer at the end of a long moving day!