She’s Ready…Me…Not So Much

4 May

I am so overcome with emotion…it’s that kind of emotion that just washes over me and I can’t seem to right myself from it. We are moving Ava to a new preschool. Not because there is anything wrong with her current preschool, it’s just that we want her to go to one closer to home and hopefully with kids she will go on to kindergarten with. The preschool is attached to the elementary school we want her to attend. It all makes perfect sense…it’s all completely logical…I know I’m doing the right thing. She’s so excited about her new school. She’s been talking about it for two weeks straight, counting down the days and trying to figure out how she can bring her current school friends and teachers with her to her new school. Her first idea was to add four driver’s seats to the car for the teachers and then put her friends in the trunk. I love her. And as logical as it all is, it doesn’t remove the emotion from the situation.

She is absolutely ready for this change. But that’s Ava…she embraces change and sees it as an adventure to experience. As adults, change is frightening. We stick to what we know, what’s comfortable and what will cause the least amount of ripples in our lives. We do this because it’s easy. And the minute we decide to make a change, we begin to question it. At least I do. But alas, I know I’m doing the right thing.

The school newsletter arrives and Ms. Jennifer, her current teacher, talks about Ava leaving and how much she and the class will miss her and how everyone needs to come say goodbye. Thus begins my trail of tears.

This morning I showed up to drop Ava off at school and was greeted by one of her teachers, Ms. Mal, and she started talking about how much she is going to miss Ava and I got a little choked up and told her that I couldn’t talk about it or I would start crying. So she leaned down and started giving Ava hugs and kisses…I think having her talk to me would’ve been easier than watching her love on Ava. Because you see, she really does love my child.

After dropping Ava with Ms. Mal, I went to Ava’s classroom to drop off her lunch bag and sign her in and I see this big white envelope in her folder with her name on it. So I grab it thinking it’s artwork and such. I walk to my car feeling a little nostalgic and sad. I open the envelope to find books and stickers and a card from another teacher, Ms. Lupe, and what she wrote on the card just touched me and the waterworks started:

Ava Jane Caruso

A fabulous child, amazingly intelligent, sweet and lovable.

I will miss you. I truly wish the best of the best for you in life and I believe you will be a successful child wherever you go. You have been a child that has touched my heart with your kindness and all the fantastic qualities you have.

 – Ms. Lupe

This was her first school…her first school friends…where she first learned to write her name….and to share (sometimes better than others). These teachers dealt with her sweet ways and her (sometimes very) bad days. They kissed boo-boos and broke up fights. They put her in time out when she misbehaved and rewarded her with praise when she didn’t. They stood by day in and day out to encourage her to learn and to work through her frustration when she couldn’t quite grasp concepts. 

In short, they mothered her…when I was working and couldn’t, they stepped in and they did oh so well. I’m so incredibly grateful for that.

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12 Responses to “She’s Ready…Me…Not So Much”

  1. Erica May 4, 2011 at 9:34 pm #

    That letter from the teacher is so awesome! Good luck with the move – sounds like it will be great.

    • Janice May 6, 2011 at 12:17 am #

      I just think it’s awesome that her teacher went out of her way to write it. It meant alot to me.

  2. Angela avogaro May 4, 2011 at 10:31 pm #

    Janice- I have done exactly what you are doing. Left that same school with Miss Mal loving on my children like they were her own and it wrenched my heart. But you are doing the right thing, as hard as it is. I think you should write a note to the school just like what you wrote here, or even print out this blog and give it to them. What you wrote was so heartfelt and they deserve to hear how much they have meant to you and Ava. Be strong.

    • Janice May 6, 2011 at 12:16 am #

      Thanks Ang! I thought of you during this whole process because I know you know them personally and have been through it. I wrote letters of recommendation for her teachers and included this post with them. I just have to get through tomorrow.

  3. Heather May 4, 2011 at 11:18 pm #

    You and Mike have done an incredible job at raising her. She is one of the sweetest most loving kids I know. As lucky as you are to have such an amazing daughter, she is just as lucky to have amazing parents. I love you all to pieces!!!!!

    • Janice May 6, 2011 at 12:15 am #

      Heather – that means so much to hear you say that! Thanks hon! We love you guys to pieces too…although….Ava loves JP a little less because of the whole hair situation. Hahahaha…she cracks me up.

  4. Sharyn May 5, 2011 at 5:26 am #

    I wish I could reach through the lines to give you both great big hugs for so very different reasons…I love you so much!

    • Janice May 6, 2011 at 12:14 am #

      Awwwww…thanks Sharyn! Miss you! Let’s talk soon!

  5. Tricia May 5, 2011 at 8:42 pm #

    We’re going to miss Ava too!! Amanda has already told me no less than a dozen times that she wants to go to the same new school with Ava 😦

    We wish her all the best, and I hope we can still stay in touch!!

    • Janice May 6, 2011 at 12:13 am #

      We are going to miss you guys too! The great thing about Facebook and blogs is that we can stay connected pretty easily. Hopefully we can plan a playdate. Also, I really want to hear how McGrath is! 🙂

  6. Lupe May 7, 2011 at 1:43 am #

    Hi Janice:)How are you? I hope you are feeling better regarding Ava’s school change. I will miss her sooo much but it is best for her to meet new friend that will be with her in kinder. I stoped by to her classroom to say goodbye:( The first thing she said to me “Ms. Lupe Thank you for your gift”She is so sweet.Im glad you have this blog this way i will be checking how she’s doing.
    Goodluck and Thank you for all,
    Ms. Lupe
    Ohh I loved that lotion video its so cute!

    • Janice May 16, 2011 at 5:38 pm #

      Miss Lupe!!!! I’m so glad you came to visit the blog! I know Ava will miss you so much but she is enjoying her new school. She apparently already found a boy she’s going to marry. Haha. I’m so glad Ava thanked you for the gift! You are such a wonderful teacher. Make sure you keep in touch with us and let us know when you finish school!

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