The Expected Meltdown

28 Jul

I have been a bitch the past two weeks. There’s no way to sugar coat that. My fuse has been short and my temper easily flared. I have not been easy to deal with. I know this. I have been dealing with so much. Anyone who has bought a house can understand the amount of work that goes into getting this transaction to the end stages. My day consists of reading emails, printing attachments, signing attachments, scanning, emailing back. Then there’s the whole setting up utilities, carpet install appointments, mold remediation estimates. Meeting people, talking to people, fighting with people. I feel like Gumby right now. I’m pulled in a million different directions all day. I’m an excellent multi-tasker but this takes multi-tasking to a whole new level.

I work a full-time job, have a 3 1/2 yo at home who never stops talking and a husband who calls me a lot. So this buying a house business has just tipped my balancing act right over. I had a meltdown of epic proportions this morning. I’m stressed. I am. Did I mention Mike is out-of-town for work and we are closing on our house this week? Oh dear God. So I’m a single parent right now. My emotions are frayed and my brain hurts.

SOOOOOOO….this morning. I actually get Ava and I out the door on time. That should have been my first clue that the morning was going to unravel. We are leaving for Napa on Friday morning and I decide that since I have a few minutes, I’ll clean all the boxes out of my trunk to make room for luggage. It’s not 7:20 am so I’m still doing okay on time. I get in the car, Mike calls…I answer. I’m still happy. Then I turn the car on and a light comes on. It’s a triangle with an exclamation point in the middle. WTF is this??? It can’t be good. I open the owner’s manual for the car and learn that it’s a tire pressure warning light. What???? My car has that???? So cool! Wait…shit…that means something is wrong with my tires.

So I get out of the car. Mike is still on the phone. And sure enough my front tire is low on air. Argghhhh! Here is what happens next:

Mike: Just go to the gas station and put some air in it.

Janice: How much air do I put in it?

Mike: It should say on the tire.

Janice: I can’t find it. (Frustration now mounting)

Mike: Just take my truck.

Janice: But what about my tire! What if when I get home tonight it’s flat!!!! Is the car seat in your truck? I’ll just go put air in my tire. I’m gonna be late for work now.

Mike: Just take my truck. What if you take your car to work and it goes flat in the parking garage.

Janice: I really can’t handle anymore. I’m so stressed out.

Mike: I don’t know what you want me to do.

Janice: I want you to be here. I’m handling all this by myself and it sucks.

There were some more words exchanged…it ended with us both being pissed off and saying “I’ll talk to you later.” Then the tears came. Big, fat, I can’t handle all of this I want my mommy tears! And I couldn’t stop them. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t stop crying. And I was crying for no big reason, just a bunch of little ones. I was crying because I’m now late for work. Once I get to work I have to tell my boss that I know I showed up late, and I know I’m leaving early but now I also need a 1/2 hour to run to the bank and wire money so that I can close escrow on a house. And I hate that.

I think at some point I looked towards the heavens and said, “Really? A flat tire? Today? Not cool, God, not cool.” Mike called back and said he just felt bad. And I did too…he’s been awesome through all of my moodiness and short temperament. He said it best when I said, “I’m a guy and guys want to fix things. His “fix” was for me to take his truck since he couldn’t be here to change my tire. And it makes sense…guys are like that. They don’t understand emotional, crying women sometimes. They just want to stop the tears and most of the time, there’s not a whole lot that can be done to stop them…sometimes the tears just need to fall out. Damn woman hormones.

What was the last thing you cried about?

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11 Responses to “The Expected Meltdown”

  1. The Mama July 28, 2010 at 6:48 pm #

    Hang in there!

    • Janice July 28, 2010 at 6:55 pm #

      We are almost done! I can’t wait!

  2. Sharyn July 28, 2010 at 6:57 pm #

    So many things to cry about this past year…just hoping there isn’t more around the corner. I send you big understanding hugs!

    • Janice July 28, 2010 at 9:31 pm #

      It has been a challenging year for so many people I know. The good news is…it’s only going to get better!

  3. Heather July 28, 2010 at 8:26 pm #

    Hi!

    I have had meltdowns like that. I guess life wouldn’t be exciting enough if stuff like this didn’t happen.

    • Janice July 28, 2010 at 9:31 pm #

      It really does make me appreciate the good moments just a little more.

  4. vejune July 29, 2010 at 12:24 am #

    since you asked…i saw toy story 3 the other day and the tears started flowing at the part where andy has one last play with his toys before giving them away. i’m sitting at a private MGM studio screening of the movie amidst studio execs and their 8 year old boys and i’m desperately trying to hide my tears that keep coming because all i could do is think about my bear that i used to sleep with and turn to whenever i felt alone or pissed off at someone. i still have that bear who now sits on the couch in my office…

  5. Tricia July 29, 2010 at 12:48 am #

    Janice, I have TOTALLY been there. I completely understand. ((((BIG))) hugs! It was probably when we were closing on our house too! LOL! Unfortunately this probably won’t be the last time either. We remodeled our bathroom when Amanda was just barely 2 months old. I was home on maternity leave, so I had to deal with all the contractors. I had many a moment just like yours with trying to deal with everything, on top of my first experience as a mom with a newborn, and Mike at work dictating what I need to tell the workers (who spoke very little english). Ya, I totally sympathize.

    • Janice July 29, 2010 at 5:25 pm #

      Funny how that happens, where you think, “Oh, this won’t be so bad.” But then there’s always the unexpected that throws a wrench into everything. Today was a much better day!

  6. Jenny July 30, 2010 at 8:29 am #

    I cried on Tuesday (and then I texted you). Big G and I were sitting on a train–a real, honest-to-goodness old-fashioned train. He’d been excited all morning to go on his very first train ride, and I was excited to experience it with him.

    As soon as we got on the train, he started freaking out. He didn’t want to be in the open-air car even though it was over 90 degrees out and the enclosed cars were stifling. So we went back to one of the soul-suckingly stuffy cars, but the only seats available were rear-facing.

    There we were, on Big G’s first train ride. It was so hot I wanted to die, I had a burgeoning migraine complete with nausea that was only made worse by riding backward, and I had a 4-year-old latched onto my arm like we might derail at any given moment.

    So I started crying. I cried because I didn’t feel good. I cried because I haven’t been on a train for years and I was kind of excited for the trip, too. I cried because I couldn’t see the delight on Little G’s face as he took his very first train ride, and I cried because I’m afraid there’s something wrong with Big G that makes him so fearful and anxious.

    • Janice August 3, 2010 at 12:14 am #

      I had one of those days with Ava once and I’m pretty sure I texted you also. 🙂 It’s hard when we have expectations of how we think an event is going to go and then the little boogers go and ruin it for us. ; )

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